I discovered this bench when I was discovering that I was going through an extreamely difficult time. It was at a time of anxiety and solitude and fear that I first sat on this bench alone after getting a coffee from Bird Rock Coffee Roasters. Before I could realize it was routine, I began to come back to this bench every Friday morning at 8 a.m., with a coffee in hand, books and my journal. Before this I had lived in San Diego for 5 years and it was at this point in my life that I had nearly forgotten the ocean existed. Here at this bench I wrote many pages in my journal thinking and figuring out what my next steps were; writing about needing change, heart break, being in your 20s. It was at this bench that I decided it was time for me to leave California, the one place that opened up to me and turned into a home faster than anywhere else I had ever been before.

At this bench I wrote, “And for the ocean that taught me to remember and to forget all at the same time. When I look out at the ocean I remember that I’m alive, I remember what I love about life, I remember the vastness of all of the relationships I have with people, I remember the people I love that I’ve lost. And at the same time I forget that I’m scared, I forget that I have things to do, papers to sign, floors to clean. I forget why I’m sad. I forget the criticims I make about myself. When I stare at the ocean I feel baptized, anew and refreshed, pinched by the salty see back to myself. And that’s why I’m leaving. Because the ocean stopped working its magic, it stopped reminding me who I am and stopped even going to look, until recent. That’s why I’m leaving because I know how much I love the ocean and don’t want to spend another day apart from it but each day I stay, the harder it will be to leave. I’m leaving because I need to fall in love with myself before I can fall in love with a place.”

At this time I was dramatically in touch with my emotions, but I found so much peace and happiness here. I now live on the East Coast, but I dream of my Friday mornings back on this bench. And every time I return I make a point to return and say hello, and due to my surprise this time I found this lovely QR code to share a little snippet of my soul. Looking forward to when I’m ready to return and sit and think, but until then…

Thanks <3